ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
