Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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