do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
