When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
