the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
