I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
