Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
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During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
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I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home