i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol