What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..