So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
