I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
