dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
