Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
