Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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