"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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