Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
