i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We are all done wearing pants today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
