She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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