Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
