Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
