We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
