they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
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is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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