So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
