Just mADE A PArabola og urine
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Four minutes until I can fart!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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