that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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