Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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