im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
