Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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