A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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