someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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