Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i don't like sucking hair
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
