I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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