Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
