i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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