I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
