coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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