i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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