well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
