You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
