Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.