Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
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Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
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I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...