so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man