Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ...is it true? will i see you next weekend

  (248): View more from Michigan

  YES.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us

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  (614): ...is it true? will i see you next weekend (248): YES. (614): ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us http://tfl.nu/m1xt
  Replies (22) Good night (3824) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (900) Bad night (2477)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker

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  (920): its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker http://tfl.nu/gudl
  Replies (11) Good night (1794) Bad night (3517)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.

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  (847): His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it. http://tfl.nu/zrgw
  Replies (36) Good night (1244) Bad night (6487)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

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  (858): you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?" http://tfl.nu/xq6v
  Replies (43) Good night (8891) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.

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  (570): when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one. http://tfl.nu/52ae
  Replies (16) Good night (3789) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.

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  (715): I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk. http://tfl.nu/px56
  Replies (7) Good night (2294) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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  (314): I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night. http://tfl.nu/0xi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1855) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.

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  (502): Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt. http://tfl.nu/f1ui
  Replies (10) Good night (3256) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition

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  (217): I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition http://tfl.nu/xug9
  Replies (0) Good night (1265) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Come down off the roof.

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  (847): Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go. (314): Come down off the roof. http://tfl.nu/d3mp
  Replies (3) Good night (2132) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.

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  (609): I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved. http://tfl.nu/m2zi
  Replies (5) Good night (795) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!

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  (502): Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors! http://tfl.nu/muzx
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag

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  (702): This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag http://tfl.nu/ygs4
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?

  (972): View more from Texas

  This is why american education is failing

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  (469): Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover? (972): This is why american education is failing http://tfl.nu/dkmi
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (448)

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