this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
