if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.