Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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