Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?

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  (586): Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low? http://tfl.nu/jj2a
  Replies (32) Good night (1322) Bad night (2811)
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  (949): View more from California

  I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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  (949): I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay. http://tfl.nu/h3ep
  Replies (29) Good night (1196) Bad night (3699)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
  Replies (18) Good night (1256) Bad night (4569)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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  (706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf
  Replies (81) Good night (2910) Bad night (6339)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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  (902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3
  Replies (35) Good night (1207) Bad night (12896)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.

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  (438): My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much. http://tfl.nu/ekca
  Replies (8) Good night (3470) Bad night (950)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?

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  (410): How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad? http://tfl.nu/jjfi
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (1743)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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  (615): Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight. http://tfl.nu/ami0
  Replies (22) Good night (4234) Bad night (1929)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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  (609): wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut. (941): it was a krispy kreme http://tfl.nu/o743
  Replies (15) Good night (5256) Bad night (1405)
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  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (2284) Bad night (749)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (495)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (1144)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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  (610): Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang http://tfl.nu/jrxr
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (584)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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  (517): passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/smsc
  Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (785)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower

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  (860): don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower http://tfl.nu/obf2
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (367)

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