Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
