Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
youre lurking in front of me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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