Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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