Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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