i wish my penis had a tongue
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
