dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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