She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
