Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
