she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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