no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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