I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
