im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I understand Curling. That high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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