the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize