Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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