Screwed.edu
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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