I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
