You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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