She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
